In this episode, we feature another first-time storyteller. Christian Richardson tells a story from his memoir “Tales of A Black Gaysha”. In this one, after a painful experience he has at church, we meet his grandmother. Listen in on a story he calls The Protection of the Church Hat.
In this episode, we feature another first-time storyteller. Christian Richardson tells a story from his memoir “Tales of A Black Gaysha”. In this one, after a painful experience he has at church, we meet his grandmother. Listen in on a story he calls The Protection of the Church Hat.
Story District's podcast brings you hilarious, heartfelt, and thought-provoking true stories told live on the Story District stage. Host Amy Saidman goes behind the scenes with the storytellers to hear more about what it takes to tell a great story.
In our third season, we bring you I Did It for the Story. All new episodes will feature true stories told live on the Story District stage and insights about storytelling from Host and Story District founding director, Amy Saidman.
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Music by Graceful Movement
Amy: Welcome to I Did It For The Story. I'm Amy Saidman and our mission at Story District is to help people like you become great storytellers. In this podcast, you'll hear some of our favorites, true stories told live from the Story District stage.
In this episode, we feature another first time storyteller. Christian Richardson tells a true story from his memoir, Tales of a Black Gaysha. In this one, we meet his grandmother in a story he calls Protection of the Church Hat.
Christian: The Protection of the Church Hat. If you've ever had a black praying grandmother, you know where I'm getting ready to go.
Me? Ask for me, my village. My grandmother, I was in high school, going to choir rehearsal. Walked into the church like I always do. And the choir director decided she wanted to call me out in front of everybody. Which was kind of weird to me, because I mind my business, I don't bother people. But okay. So she's like, Christian, at the end of rehearsal, I'm gonna need to talk to you.
Okay. So me being me, like my guard kind of went up because her voice was very like aggressive like and I don't do aggressive too well, so okay. Rehearsal went on, it ended, so sanctuary cleared out and I went to her face to face I was like, yes, what can I do you for? She was like, I heard something about you and I didn't like it.
I heard that you were gay. We don't do gay. We're going to pray the gay away.
Good luck.
So she's talking to me, and she's going at it, and she got her ugly acrylic nail all in my face. I'm like, okay. And she's steady talking. So I said, okay, fine. I'm like, are you done? Yeah, we'll discuss this later. Yeah, no, we're not. I'm gone. So I left. However, however, it started to sit in me and bother my spirit.
Not the fact that it was that, but it was the fact that I was so active in the church and I did so much stuff, I knew so many people, I loved so many people, so many people loved me. So it's not that, okay, no more choir rehearsal, no more altar boy, no more rites of passage. It wasn't that. It was, am I going to lose the people?
That I've grown to love and like so much and are they going to choose the church over me, which we know it happens I'm a realist. We know what happened, but that bothered me. So it's set with me on the ride home.
I Got home walked in the house my grandmother affectionately referred to as Big Rose. Big Rose was about five five, five six, and at that time she's about 300 pounds Referred to by my uncles as Minnie Mike Tyson, Muhammad Ali, because they caught it quite a few times. So she was in the kitchen cooking dinner and she said, are you going to eat? I said, no grandma, not tonight, I'm not in the mood.
And she kind of, and I went on upstairs. I was folding clothes. And Big Rose walked with a shuffle, when she had her slippers on, she walked with a shuffle. I heard her coming up the steps. She didn't knock. She just pushed the door open. I'm like, I'm glad I wasn't. Okay. And she said, what's wrong with you?
Nothing. I'm folding clothes, trying not to make eye contact. You're lying. What's wrong with you?
So I told her, I told her the whole story and I told her in extra dramatic detail too. And I said, well, how did you figure it out? She said, because, let me tell you something. You belong to me. When you walked out of this house, your light was bright. You was going to the house of God. You came back, your light was dim.
Baby, we have a problem. You never go see God and come back with your light dim. Uh uh. No. So I'm standing there, I'm like, oh, shit. I said, okay. And she said, don't worry, I'm gonna handle it. Again, oh shit.
So she went to bed. So that Sunday, I heard her up getting dressed, getting ready for church, cause she had her hallelujah music on. I didn't say anything, I'm just laying in the bed. Music went off, she came shuffling down the hallway, cause she had her little kitten heels on, hun. She opened the door, mind you she never knocks, she just opens the door.
You good? I'm good. You alright? I'm alright. Alright, I'll see you later. She had her hat, and she went shuffling on down the steps. Got in a call, went to church. My grandmother only put her hat on before she left the house, or once she got to the doors of the church, then she would put her hat on. And that particular hat that Sunday sat at an angle.
And at that angle, under that hat sat that eyeball. And that eyeball will tell you everything you need to know and see.
I came in late, sat in the back, and went downstairs. As I was coming up the steps, I saw her go into the pastor's office, and I'm like, Oh, shit. Went on upstairs, took about ten minutes, five to ten minutes, like the longest five to ten minutes of my freaking life, I'm like, Oh Lord, here we go. The door was open, I waved, I smiled and winked.
And she, walking up the steps, the pastor comes out and he greets me, arms wide open. And he hugs me, Kristen, and he hugged me and my shoulders dropped. My stomach was tight, but the butterflies, everything was gone. He kissed my forehead. He said, I love you. You're fine. I know you. I got you. The guard I serve is not like that.
We don't have them kind of problems in here.
So as my shoulders dropped, and I kind of cut my eye at my grandmother, and she kind of bagged back, like, what the hell, uh, okay, alright. I'm like, nah, grandma, don't fight. We good, we good, you ain't gotta fight, we good. And he said, okay, I'll see you whenever I see you. Okay, cool, no problem. As we were leaving, the choir director was coming this way, around.
And he called her in the office, and I... Bitch. Forgive me, Lola, it's alright, it's alright. Ramon and I left, went home, we had our regular, normal Sunday, everything. We cooked dinner together, we laughed, we talked, everything. At the end of dinner, and I tell people, this is why your village is important. I don't care if you have to create your own village, I don't care if it's your friends or your whatever.
Your village is important, love is important. I dwell in love and I'm wrapped in peace. Don't try me. I love God, but I will cut your ass off. Um, so we were talking and she said, let me tell you something. You're mine. I know who, I know everything about you. I know you inside and out. Yeah, you belong to God, but you belong to me.
If you ever have any other issues, baby, you let me know. I'm like, okay, come on.
So, with that being said, that's why I called that story, The Protection of the Church Hat. Because when that helper put that hat on, it was a wash. She go to church and she shout, but don't cross that line, cause you gonna know something. Gramps, it's because of you. Big Rose, tonight, honey, I stand here and I tell my story, and I help other people.
Now, full circle moment, really quickly. Cut to many years later, I got a message in my inbox, social media, it was a choir director apologizing to me. Boom! See?
She said, Christian, I want to apologize to you. What I said to you back then really bothered me later on once the, once the world, once I went out into the world and I learned some things. I'm like, okay, what are you talking about? When I said those things to you in church and da, da, da, and I was like, Oh, see, like I had moved on, had completely forgot about it.
I don't harbor that hate and that mess. I'm too cute. I don't do stress and wrinkles.
So, I, I, you know, she apologized and I told her, I said, Sweetie, you're forgiven. We're good. I love you. No love lost. However, I use that experience as a stepping stone because I stand here tonight telling stories that it will help somebody else. And I've done it before. So with that being said, we good. Good night.
I love you.
Amy: Stories like this are so important. We've been producing an LGBTQ plus pride show for 13 years now. And I've heard so many painful stories about being rejected by loved ones and about suppressing the self and feeling alone. And I love a story like this one with someone who stood up for their child and for their grandchild and loved them so fiercely.
So, I love this story. In this story, Christian and I worked on pacing. For every story, some parts need to be quick, and some parts need to be slow. And you don't want to stretch out your setup, and you don't want to rush the moments of tension. So, you also don't want to resolve your conflict too quickly.
So Christian and I worked on giving more attention to moments of anticipation of not knowing how things would play out Like what his grandmother would do and what the pastor would do. So letting that sit the anticipation of when His grandmother, you know, says, all right, we're, we're going to church. He has no idea what, what's about to happen.
So we want that question to be in his head and in our head as listeners, like, Ooh, what's, what's going to happen and how does this play out? So we slowed it down so we could, he could share with us what he was thinking, what he was fearing, um, you know, what's in his head and heart. As we wait to find out how things are going to play out when he sees her go in and talk.
When he goes back to the church, the church that he just left and was basically kicked out of. And anticipation is a very important characteristic of a well told story. You can't already know what's going to happen. We have to discover it together. I hope this story is getting you to think about your own stories.
Story District can help. Visit our website and follow us on social media to find out more about our shows, classes, consulting, and more. And please continue to follow us, subscribe, leave a review, and tell a friend. If you like this, spread the word. Until next time, I'm Amy Saidman, and this is I Did It For The Story.